"Return of the Blob - Beijing's Revenge"

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Well, I ended the last update with tales of being unwell and harbouring an alien lifeform in my lungs, and it dominated my week really. I got worse and worse after Sunday and was putridly sick by Thursday. I awoke in the morning, reenacted scenes from "The Blob" in my bathroom, wished I was dead, messaged my work colleague, and went back to sleep. I guess I needed it: I didn't wake up until 1 in the afternoon and even then, that was only because I wanted to be able to sleep that night. I also got up then because I swore blind to my colleagues that I would not miss teaching another English class, so I went into work at 4pm and struggled through. My counterpart had kindly messaged me back saying if I was unwell that I should stay home, but I turned up and (I think) won big brownie points coming in when I was so sick. I had the vindication of everyone baulking mid-greeting at the state of me when they came into the room I hold class. Clearly they'd never been taught by the Undead before.

Anyway, I had the same problem as always; two of my colleagues are at the most basic level (about my level of Mandarin) while the rest range from proficient to quite fluent. So I chose to show them a snippet from "Top Gear", a brilliant UK car show that is more like a comedy skit show. I showed them "How to Kill a Toyota" which if you haven't seen is an absolute must (here's the link). Basically the TG boys find out what it takes to stop a 13 year old Toyota Hilux working. Their hosts speak very clearly in a crisp British accent, and the footage almost speaks for itself so I thought that even if not every one understood everything they would find it interesting. Well, I wasn't entirely right on that one. Though I kept stopping to talk about what was going on, those who didn't understand it either thought there was more to it or simply didn't find it as amazing as I did. The latter is more likely.

We talked about TV shows afterwards and, at their behest, I found a snippet from the Australian version of "Next Top Model". They seem to prefer listening to an American accent but the Australian edition was the only one I could find on youtube that showed the very first episode. As I listened to the Aussie twang and felt a pang of homesickness, I explained a few of the choice words we came across, like "muffin top". It really is a top-notch useful education I'm giving them.

Friday morning it was scenes from "The Blob" again, so I couldn't face going to work but the day was so beautiful that I couldn't bear to miss it either. I slept in and then made my way to the Ming City Wall Ruins just south of my house. It is a remaining section of the old Beijing city wall and there is a nice park running along side it, making it a pleasant walk. The sky was blue, the air was crisp. Just my luck there was media thing on that night so I couldn't climb up to the guard tower but it was nice to walk the 2kms of wall nonetheless and it gave me a chance to try out my new camera.

Saturday, I was moderately better but sick of being sick if that makes sense, so I headed to The Vineyard Cafe again for brunch with Pip, Andrea, and Tash. Afterwards was shopping down Dongsi Beidajie again and then I went home to crash for awhile, eating in my favourite local restaurant behind my apartment block who have never tried to overcharge me, then heading out to a friend of a friend's "Funk" party. I didn't last long, but I did meet a celebrity (the weekend Weather girl on the only local English-language TV station) and sadly could not find a stall selling my favourite BBQ'ed steamed bread with spices on the way home.

Sunday, I felt the restriction of only have two places to eat on a weekend morning so I set out in search of "Beijing's best-kept secret brunch cafe" according to "The Insider's Guide to Beijing". The American Cafe was listed as having Wi-Fi so I took my laptop in the hope I would get some writing done and set off. Well, it's location is described in the book, it is marked on the map in the book, and is virtually next to the subway station. Simple right? Not in Beijing. I walked for 2 hours trying to find the fecking place. Around and up and down that street, I knew I was in the right general area because I knew the restaurant that was marked as being next to it on the map. What was supposed to be "next to" turned out to be head north, left at the lights, down the road, through a guarded gate and in the basement on the right of a courtyard. That is exactly why I won't take someone somewhere new unless I've physically been there first.

But, thankfully, it was worth it. The ambiance was warm and inviting, the staff were very sweet if a little vague, and the food is fantastic. I stayed for 3 hours, mostly because I was so exhausted from the recon I had to regain the strength to move again. I ate a late lunch, had coffee, then Tash came and I had an early dinner and coffee. So at least I made the most of it, having found it, since it sucked up most of my day.

I did slowly get better though I've only just (2 and a half weeks later) stopped sounding like a pack-a-day smoker. It's getting really cold in Beijing now but we've seen nothing yet I've been told. We've already had a snow day, but not in the city sadly. It doesn't get above 10 degrees Celsius any more but I'm holding up. A nice hot Christmas holiday is what I need.

And, as most of you know it's the Australian Federal Election tomorrow. The Embassy has requested us to go in and pre-vote to avoid crowding on the day so I'm off to the Embassy to cast my ballot and will watch the election coverage tomorrow with baited breath. A friend nominated herself to run around the block naked if 'Kevin '07' pulls it off so while I'm hoping to celebrate tomorrow night, I'm also hoping for a warm evening...

Back into the Swing of things

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After Mum and Dad left on the Wednesday it was (sadly) time to return to normality. On the Friday night with the temperature plummeting and having been out of contact with my friends for awhile, I went to have hotpot with my friend Pip, but stupidly took us to a very fancy place and ordered chicken gizzards. Bless Pip, she was very sweet but it really was revolting even to look at. My first true failure on the ordering front! But because you cook hotpot at your own pace it's one of the few kinds of restaurants that they don't throw you out after 20 mins, so we achieved our aim of sitting and catching up for a few hours. It was also Mike's last night in China so despite the fact I was supposed to go to bed early, I went out and, to my great sadness, fared him well over a a drink or two.

The reason I was supposed to go to bed early that night was because I had my interview with the reporter from "That's Beijing" on Saturday morning. First thing Saturday morning in fact, because I stupidly volunteered to take the first slot at 9:30. I know that's not particularly early, but you're talking to the girl who barely gets into work at that time and lives a 10minute bike ride away. And I found it a bit of a struggle to be coherent enough to be witty and charming for the interview, and also well-presented for the photographs. The article is for their feel-good December issue about people "working for causes bigger than themselves" as the journalist put it. I had to spend a lot of time running through all the things I would say because I'll have a paragraph or two at most since I'm only one of ten people. I needed to be succinct and quotable, so I got up early and by the end of my second cup of coffee I was feeling somewhat ready. Choosing what to wear was a much harder task though! I know, I know, that's really dumb but give me a break, I'm a girl. That crap matters to me :)

Anyway, the interview went fine and the journalist was really nice. He was an Aussie from Canberra no less so we discussed the great divide between North- and South-siders, and how everyone bags out Canberra without actually ever spending any real time there. Having brushed up on the details of my projects and messages, I had a mild panic when he explained that the article was more about the individual than their organisation. I wasn't expecting that! He asked me about why I got into what I do (because I was accepted?), my previous work experience in the field (er, none?) and my motivation for doing the job (cause I think it's important?). I stumbled through somehow and then was subjected my first "shoot", with explicit instructions not to smile; then a little bit of smiling; smile please; and, finally, showing teeth. Luckily, I hadn't eaten breakfast so I didn't have to worry about any food stuck in my teeth at least.

Afterwards I had a much needed brunch at a trendy new brunch place (sorry Grandma's) with friends, then shopping in a nearby area I had discovered when wandering with Mum and Dad. Sunday was dedicated Tash-Time and back to Grandma's we went. The resident cat who normally sits in Tash's lap was greatly perturbed by the presence of a little grey Schnauzer pup who was getting all the attention, much to the cat's disgust. I was happy though, as it was great to be round a dog that looked clean enough to actually risk touching. In the afternoon we headed down to Tash's area so I could see her new pad, which is a fantastic flat to the East of the Temple of Heaven. She has a bakery with a coffee shop above it literally next door so we ruminated over coffee and, in my case, ice cream because my throat was sore as all hell. As it turned out, that was only the beginning of my malady and I proceeded to develop a truly magnificent Beijing cold and cough (though I absolutely refused to spit in public even at my sickest). It was exacerbated by the deadly pollution that settled on the capital. It made me understand why people spit all the time, and why when they do it's so solid it almost cements the cracks in the pavement. It was the worst pollution I have experienced in my time here and, as always, it happened exactly in Beijing Time (not quite the worst possible moment, but almost) when I was just getting really sick. It was disgusting, some of the things that came from my body were almost their own lifeform.

But, that didn't stop me getting to my language classes, or Swing dance which had just started a new cycle of beginners class. So I went from Loser to "Oh, I remember doing this!", and knew what I was supposed to be doing for once. That was two weeks ago however, and I'm still sick though I'm finally on the mend. It was a frustrating time as I don't really get sick at home, and this really knocked me off my feet for awhile. But, there's no rest for the wicked as they say and too many things to do in Beijing to take time off so as always, the adventures continue...

The Epic tale of Mum & Dads' Trip to China (Pt 2)

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Back from Xi'An and still drunk the next morning from Mike's birthday celebrations, we had a gentle day for all involved as Mum's knee, Dad's ankle and my conscious state were all a little iffy. So we took a stroll down the famous LiuLiChang Art Street and I finally bought a painting from an artist that I really adore, having been there many times but never being about to choose.

And I am now officially a "hero" because I climbed the Great Wall. We went to two sections of the Great Wall (at Badaling AND Mutianyu). Since before I came to Beijing everyone told me "Don't go to the Badaling section of the Great Wall!" because it is so touristy and absolutely crammed with people at the best of times. So, instead I arranged to go to another more beautiful section of the Wall. Mum actually felt unwell that morning so Dad I went ourselves, but Mum didn't miss too much because our luck ran out with the weather and it turned pea-soup appalling. As beautiful as Mutianyu was, we couldn't see enough of it to appreciate it! But, we did climb the steep section of it and very proud of ourselves we were. It's a lot steeper in many parts than it looks in the photos I can tell you now. And I was so impressed by the oldies who managed to get around. They build 'em tough over here!

But that did leave Mum without the experience of having seen the Wall at all, so later in the week we went again. This time though, against my most stringent warnings, to Badaling. We went on another tour, but at least we also went to the Ming Tombs which I've always wanted to see. It is where 13 emperors of the Ming dynasty (1368-1644) were buried, and each tomb is located at the foot of a separate hill. We went to the Changling Tomb, home of the the third emperor of the Ming Dynasty, Emperor Yongle and his Empress. Built in 1413, the mausoleum extends over an area of 100,000 square metres. The Soul Tower, which tells people whose tomb it is, rests on a circular wall called the "city of treasures" which surrounds the burial mound. We were rushed through the tomb, told we couldn't see the real tomb anyway as it hadn't been excavated before shoved back on the bus to go to somewhere else where they could flog their wares at us.

But after lunch we went to the Great Wall at Badaling and luckily, it being Beijing, the weather had turned again overnight and we had a glorious day. All the better to see the other million people on the wall with us! Badaling is the most famous section of the wall, the closest part to Beijing, and was made famous by Mao who climbed it and declared that you are not a "real man" (which the tour guide artistically translated as "hero" instead) until you've climbed the Great Wall. So it seems that every man, woman and child in China pilgrimage to Badaling, and the Chinese phrase "People mountain, people sea" sprang to mind when we were there.

But when you reached a pinnacle of a section of the Wall you did have an awesome view and I can wholeheartedly say I did enjoy Badaling. I'm glad it wasn't my first experience of the Wall, as it really was the human version of Beijing CBD at rush hour on a Monday morning, but it was great to see the Wall snaking its way through the mountains just like you see it in all the photos. As a bonus, I even found my "Mao coat" there! For only Y50, bargain. It weights a tonne though, it's already broken one of my coat hangers. So it sits (well, practically stands up by itself) in the corner now.

Actually, I had another of those moments I'll always remember when while standing on the pinnacle of the Wall, I got a call from the editor of a local magazine, "That's Beijing". She got my number through a mutual friend and asked if I would mind being part of the cover feature for their next issue. As it's a Christmas issue, she explained, it's about people who work for causes or NGOs in Beijing and they are looking for 10 people to feature. I'm not to proud to admit I was really excited about it all! So, overall, Badaling left a pretty good impression on me.

The rest of Mum and Dads' visit consisted of visiting the beautiful Temple of Heaven, the trendy 'Nanluogu Xiang' street, and the enormous Summer Palace. On their final night, we went out to a special Pre-Birthday Dinner for Mum, as her birthday was the Friday after they left. We went to an amazing Shanghainese restaurant, and to my great amusement, we were ushered by a Chinese John Cleese (really! see the photos!). We had crab because it's Mum's traditional birthday food, and the most enormous but delicious Taiwanese shaved ice mountain of a dessert. Though the photos look like we had one each we actually only had one between us, but we just all needed to have a photo with it!

It was very sad to see them go, but I think they liked what they saw enough that a trip back to China in April might be on the cards. I'm holding thumbs.

The Epic tale of Mum & Dads' Trip to China (Pt 1)

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This entry should properly be called "Michelle's Ultimate Tour of Beijing and Xi'An" because Mum and Dad came all the way to Beijing to see me and I showed them the best China has to offer! I was so crazy happy to see them, it was so great (but strange) to have them here, in my town. We did so much, I really think they really have seen more of Beijing than a lot of people who've lived here awhile. And my god did we eat, we ate nearly every cuisine Beijing has to offer and I thought I was kidding when I told them we were going to eat our way around Beijing. As it turned out, I wasn't! I actually lost the desire to eat in their last few days which is unprecedented. But, aside from their first night (we had very limited options) the food was all amazing and varied and it was great to be able to try out new places with someone who could read the menu.

I used mum mercilessly for her superb Putonghua language skills, constantly asking her what a word meant, or how to say something. In return though, I taught them a few things about Beijing. Well, warned them about a few things to be more accurate. The look of horror on their faces when I told them that you can't flush toilet paper down the loo because the sewage systems can't handle it was very cute. I told them the general rule is, if there is a rubbish bin next to the toilet that's what it's for. The horror, if possible, increased. "But there's one in the hotel bathroom!" my poor mum exclaimed. "Yeah, well..." I shrugged apologetically. "But there's no lid on it or anything, it can't be. It's an international hotel!" Again, I shrugged but they found it hard to believe. "Ok, well please don't do it in my toilet!" I begged, as I know of plenty of stories of toilets backing up for that reason and I didn't want to have to clean that mess up (incidentally, and mum and dad will hate me for saying this, but their toilet did stop working after a week...)

So, on their first day I had to take them to Grandma's for brunch of course! Dad had been duly warned about the lack of decent coffee in Beijing and the exorbitant prices of even the nasty stuff, but I had to ease him on the caffeine slowly so Grandma's bottomless cup awaited us. Food out of the way, we had a very good shopping effort that first day, all finding something to purchase. Mum wanted to see the Silk Markets as a few people had told her how famous it was, and I agreed that you have to go see them as a tourist but it personally my least favourite place to shop. And as it happens, in Mum's only other visit to Beijing many years ago, she went to the Government building that is at the end of my Hutong! In a city so large it's a pretty cool coincidence. The next day I took them to my office to meet my work colleagues who were all really excited to meet them, and I was very proud to show mum and dad off. And then the tour really started in earnest! I had avoided going to the main tourist attractions during my four months here because I knew I'd go with mum and dad. We were hellishly efficient and went to the Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square, Lamma Temple (Beijing's biggest and best temple), the Houhai Lakes area, and the PanJiaYuan Sunday Markets. And that was only in the first week!

So first we spent an afternoon of glorious weather at the Forbidden City, so named because no commoners were allowed to enter for over 500 years. Unfortunately, despite my warning that we would be doing a lot of walking while they were here none of us were quite prepared for the Forbidden City which has a circumference of 16kms and covers an area of 720,000 sq metres. It's so big it has a permanent restoration squad doing renovations. It takes about 10 years to restore the whole complex by which time they have to start again! It was an amazing historical site, and I'm so glad that Starbucks had been forced to close it's branch inside the Forbidden city.

Lamma Temple is Beijing's largest and most spectacular temple, and was beautiful and so peaceful. I had my second "celebrity/freak" moment where a man wanted a photo with me (I'm immortalised in someone's album somewhere mum said). The weather was behaving and showing it's best side for my visitors which I was really pleased about as Beijing is a really beautiful city when the weather is good. We shopped our way through the paraphernalia of the Panjiayuan Sunday Markets and then prepared for our trip to Xi'An the following day.

Xi'An is home to the world famous Terracotta Warriors, and each warrior is unique: each one has a different face. Xi'An is a really nice city, bigger than I thought, but I forget that even small cities like Xi'An have 3.25 MILLION people. It used to be China's capital, all the way back to the 11th centaury BC throughout 11 major Dynasties which makes it a major attraction for international visitors. It is the beginning of the fabled Silk Road and had many of the Hui (Muslim) influences that made Ningxia so interesting so our first stop was the fantastic Muslim Quarter and the Great Mosque. We happily ate our way through the streets and probably would have gone around in circles a few times but dad was sharp eyed and saw the miniscule sign to a tiny alley leading to the Great Mosque. I've known people who have had to give up because they couldn't see the turn off anywhere so we did very well! The Great Mosque is one of China's largest, and was a beautiful example of a Chinese temple-styled Mosque. That night I discovered another of my weaknesses: YangRou PaoMo. It's a local dish where they break up special bread into a bowl with noodles and mutton, and add a delicious broth which is just soaked up by everything. It doesn't sound like much I'm sure but by god I'm really glad I don't live in Xi'An or else I'm sure I'd die of paomo overdose. Or a mutton broth induced heart attack.

Mum and Dad were keen on taking a guided day tour so we hopped in a van with Kitty/Kelly as our guide and several other tourists from other hotels as well. I met a particularly nice young man, Martin, who took a trip to Beijing to help raise money for an English charity and took a side trip to Xi'An before returning home. The tour took us to the Bam Po Neolithic Village, the official Gov Terracotta Warrior Replica Factory to make us buy stuff, a "Chinese-style lunch", a Silk Factory to make us buy stuff, and then FINALLY made it to the Terracotta Warriors which were everything we thought they would be. One piece of advice for anyone who is going: see the pits in the reverse order. Pit 1 is the largest, and Pit the smallest so see Pit 3, then 2, then 1 to get the full effect.

During the mandatory stop at the gift shop, I thought I was blocking someone's shot so apologised and moved back, but the lady kept pointing her camera at me. I kept moving back until another lady next to me actually grabbed my arm to stop me and I reaslied I WAS the shot. Penny dropping, I posed for them, and reciprocated by making her son stay in the photo I was trying to take too, though he was unimpressed with it all. With the visibility rapidly deteriorating due to pollution, we did manage to make it to the Big Goose Pagoda just in time to race to the top, snap a few pictures of the pollution and then we all headed back to our respective hotels.

The next day the weather had improved somewhat and we went to tour the Xi'An City Wall, one of the few city walls still fully intact. You can walk/cycle/take the motorised cart the whole 14kms around it so I hopped on the bike and saw the whole city centre from a unique point of view. I was impressed by the number of people cycling it and felt bad for the males because it was a little rough in parts where the bricks have large ruts in them, and I hope the ride didn't permanently impair their ability to have children.

Finally, we went back that afternoon and while Mum and Dad rested, I went out and partied at Mike's 30 (see previous entry). My parents must think I'm such a booze hound because even though I've only had three big nights out in Beijing since I've been here, two of them were during their trip. So concludes our first week in Beijing, exactly where we started it: having brunch, though this time it was me nursing the coffee cup like it was my tenacious grip on reality. God bless Grandma's Kitchen...

Revolutions and Birthdays

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Mum and Dad came to visit me in Beijing recently, but this is a special little entry for the birthday booze-ups I've been going to.

My friend Vinny, the heart and soul of Beijing, was having his birthday party on the Saturday which happened to be the Guatemalan Revolution Day so his theme was "Viva La Revolution!" Totally fabulous, and slightly sensitive in the current political climate. China was currently having its 17th Party Congress Meeting in Beijing so security was tighter than Sid Vicious' pants. The only revolutions I had studied were the Chinese Revolution (and that was out) and the Russian Revolution so I decided to go as a Bolshevik soldier. And where better than the Russian Markets!

I got a fantastic almost blonde bob wig and a toy gun almost passable for Soviet-era but I couldn't not find the long communist coat "Mao coat" I called it, that many men still actually wear. It is still issued to soldiers by the Army here, but I couldn't find one for love nor money. I saw them everywhere in Ningxia, I was kicking myself I didn't get one there (not that I could have as they weight close to 5kgs). So without the coat I was really more of a Cold War Agent, and I channeled my old alter ego: Agent Micha.

The party was awesome and I met some very cool people, one of whom turned out to live in MY hutong! A few days earlier I had noticed a lao wai leaving the block at the other end of the complex and wondered if he lived there. I'd never seen another foreigner in my block before at all. And when, at the end of the party when we'd spent most of the night talking, I hopped on my bike and asked him where he lived and I nearly fell over when he told me (it was not the amount of booze I had consumed. Really). It was then I realised it was HIM I'd seen a few days earlier and I had shake my head; that was an amazing case of serendipity, even for Beijing. So we walked home (passed people preparing breakfast in the little dumpling restaurants!) and argued about whose hutong it actually belonged to, and who was going to be the one to move and give the other back the status of being the only foreigner there. I won, of course. He went to Kazakhstan a day later, probably never to return.

Also, Tash had her man visiting Beijing and it was the night of his birthday so in the spirit of I-don't-have-to-go-to-work-tomorrow, we had a fantastic night of "VnTs" (Vodka with no Tonic) at Huxleys, literally hundreds of photos between our 3 cameras and another fuzzy taxi ride home. It really was a great night, and I was still "enjoying" it when I woke up the next morning. Mum and Dad must think I'm such a booze hound because even though I've only had three big nights out in Beijing since I've been here, two of them were during Mum and Dads' trip. So concludes our first week in Beijing, exactly where we started it: having brunch, though this time it was me nursing the coffee cup like it was my tenacious grip on reality. God bless Grandma's Kitchen...